Was it you?
let me step into who I used to be, no, wait… who was she? I’m pretty fucking sure it was— oh, was that me with a clip in my hair, a fag in my mouth, and lived life without a care? hooped earrings, chains dressed in symbiotic lines across T-shirts of The Specials and punk rock rhymes. pink fluffy purses, and friends who were nurses, taught me to smile, and see that life could be fun for a while— until… it wasn’t, or isn’t, or gee, now I forgot. or maybe I’m still there, in that flat with the yellow ashtray. I think I left it behind— (or maybe I never did). I keep returning. Or maybe I never left. it could have been all misunderstandings, and where emotions got mixed up in landings— of abuse vs. love vs. abuse. wait... where was I? oh, yeah, there... telling you stories only my soul ever knew, and you used it against me. took me to a place that wasn’t safe, with no one to protect me. except, I was already grown. you were older. my cousin. a friend. I looked up to you, but not at the end. and then there was you. who were you? or who was I, when I was with you? you made storytelling fun again, took the pain away, with faeries, and castles, and faraway lands. we drank herbal tea out of old Vegemite jars, wrote poetry and prose as though we lived from afar. you showed me love when the world was dark. I miss you. you might have been my one true love. we fucked once or twice. I really don’t remember, because it wasn’t that nice— not because you weren’t nice. it was—because you were. that fucking was not done on a spur. it was not the heat of the moment, or lost in each other’s arms. it was for a purpose— a sole purpose that meant… we didn’t have sex anymore. but you were you, and I was me, and the me that I was, when I was with you, is beyond anything more beautiful or perfect than any love that may or may not have been true. © Samira Wyld 2025
Thank you for reading another post from Music Is Poetry where we talk all things related to music, behind the scenes, sneak peeks into my songwriting, and composing process and more. You can find more about my music, and books by visiting my Official website.
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